


Its Not the End of the World (But It Might as Well be the End of Your World)

by victoriousscarf



Series: Today's a Different Day [2]
Category: DCU
Genre: Alternate Universe - Character Swap, M/M, New 52, Pre-New 52, Universe switch
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-16
Updated: 2016-02-10
Packaged: 2018-04-21 03:38:15
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 7
Words: 18,438
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4813511
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/victoriousscarf/pseuds/victoriousscarf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>“What's different about today?” Roy asked.</p><p>“You're not my Roy,” Dick ground out and Roy blinked at him.</p><p>“What?”</p><p>(New 52 Roy ends up in the Pre52 universe, and Pre Roy ends up in the New 52) (Also known as the fic where 52Roy gets lots of hugs and PreRoy decides that a lot of people need to be punched in the face)</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [lamentforboromir](https://archiveofourown.org/users/lamentforboromir/gifts).



> After keeping lamentforboromir up until 5am yelling about this I figured I needed to write it. 
> 
> (This will probably be updated between updates for Find the Sun so it might be much slower then that story also god help me I need to read more of the n52 to make parts of this work ugh)

Roy woke up and that in of itself was not a strange thing (though some times he had seriously wondered if he would ever wake up).

 

What was strange was the bed he was in. It felt... firmer then the saggy mattress he usually slept on when he got to have a mattress, and the sheets were clean and felt expensive. There was also a warm arm thrown over his waist and while he wanted to bask in that feeling a little bit more, he also really wanted to know who was sprawled at his back.

 

Squirming around, he got on his back around the time he realized the form behind him was distinctly male. Which while not... new, persay, was certainly odd and not usual because it wasn't _Jason_ back there and he usually didn't end up with one night stands of the male persuasion and certainly—certainly not Dick Grayson.

 

He blinked, and blinked again because there was no way the man curled around him, trying to burrow deeper into his shoulder wasn't Dick Grayson. Only, he didn't quite look right, his face was more worn and he was a little broader in the shoulders and, well, he was in the  _same bed as Roy_ .

 

His heart rate hit the roof about the time Dick's eyes opened. 

 

“Hi,” he said, plastering a smile on his face and Dick just _froze_. Just stopped completely, staring at him and Roy could practically see his mind working. “Um, do you know how we ended up here? Because if we had sex I'm going to be really fucking sad I don't remember it because, well—” And Dick's eyes had narrowed. “I mean you're really hot Grayson and I'd hate—” He stopped again.

 

“Roy?” Dick asked, and there was something weird and quavering in his voice.

 

Roy felt the bottom of his stomach drop and he covered it with a laugh because Dick was still wrapped around him and frowning at him and saying his name like he wasn't sure. “Yeah, yeah that's me. Good to know you still remember,” and he had to laugh again, too high and frantic to really cover the pain.

 

Dick was moving suddenly, pulling out of the bed and standing, his hands shaking.

 

“Was it that,” Roy started at the same time Dick was reaching for what looked like some sort of communicator on the bed side table. 

 

“Watchtower,” he barked into it. 

 

“You know,” a scratchy voice said over the feed. “I think you're not supposed to use—” 

 

“Not now,” he ordered again and Roy hesitantly sat up in the middle of the bed, wrapping the sheets around his waist and trying not to stare at Dick. Except, well, he was _naked_ and fit as fuck. “I need you to see if you can find Red Arrow, right now.”

 

There was a pause. “He's not showing up,” the scratchy voice said again. “I mean, there's—Red Arrow's signal isn't anywhere on the planet Earth right now.” 

 

“Get Br—Batman down here,” Dick said and snapped the communicator off, staring at Roy again.

 

“Is it really necessary to call Batman because you found me in your bed?” Roy asked, hesitantly. 

 

“Normally, I would say no,” Dick said and his entire body was tight and tense. “Finding Roy Harper in my bed would _normally_ not be cause for alarm,” and Roy's eyes widened because _what_. “However, today, I think it is.”

 

“What's different about today?” Roy asked.

 

“You're not my Roy,” Dick ground out and Roy blinked at him. 

 

“What?”

 

-0-

 

Groaning, Roy found himself on the floor. He had no memory of why he would be waking up on the floor, because what he did remember was falling asleep tangled up in Dick, Dick's breathing heavy on his collarbone, shuddering and full of tiny giggles while Roy traced his hands up and down his spine. 

 

Any night where Dick actually came and  _stayed_ was worth treasuring so why was he waking up on the hard floor?

 

He pushed himself up to his elbows and found himself staring right into a gun. “Great,” he told the metal in front of his face. “That's just great.”

 

“Who the fuck are you?” a voice asked and Roy frowned because he recognized that voice, but couldn't quite place it. Tilting his head slightly, he looked around the barrel of the gun to see... Jason Todd, who was practically sitting in his lap with the gun pointed at his face. 

 

“Huh,” Roy managed, except this was wrong. This was Jason when he must have been younger, still so skinny and slender, like he hadn't filled out yet. The Jason he knew was almost as hulking as Bruce, and certainly was taller then Dick. This Jason looked more like Tim and Roy blinked again.

 

So at least it was time travel. Because this must have been before he came back as Red Hood, after he had died and come back to life. Roy tried to remember how old he had been then.

 

“I said,” and the gun was jammed closer. “Who the fuck are you?”

 

“Kid, this is going to be complicated,” Roy said. 

 

“ _Don't_ call me kid,” Jason snapped and really, considering his own rage at the word sidekick, Roy should have known better. 

 

“My bad,” Roy said, holding his hands up. 

 

“Alright, if you're going to be frustratingly vague like that then tell me where Roy is,” Jason growled and Roy froze.

 

“Roy?” he repeated. Were there other Roys that Jason had known, or others in the community he just was blanking on?

 

“Roy Harper,” Jason snarled and Roy froze, mentally upgrading the clusterfuck he was in from time travel to full on dimensional shift. 

 

Because he was pretty sure he would have remembered hanging out with one Jason Todd when most of the superhero community thought he was dead. 

 

“Well, shit,” was what he said. 

 

“Seriously, who the fuck are you because I am going to _shoot_ you—”

 

“Well, you see,” Roy said. “I'm Roy Harper.”

 

Jason froze, eyes darting to his arms, taking in the tattoo there as if perhaps time travel had occurred to him too, except he seemed to find it the wrong tattoo. “That's not fucking funny.”

 

“It's starting to seem a little funny,” Roy said and flopped backward down on the ground, Jason still sitting over him with the gun. “I mean, the funniest thing that's ever happened to me? No. But on the other hand, it's maybe surprising this doesn't happen more often.”

 

“What happen more often?” and Jason sounded more hesitant. When Roy opened his eyes the boy was frowning at him, tracking over his features and looking more and more confused and lost by the moment, and Roy wondered if he was finding traces of the other Roy in his face.

 

“You know,” Roy said, folding his hands behind his head. “Interdemensional bullshit.”

 

Jason drummed his fingers on the side of the gun. “You think that is what this is?”

 

“Well, I don't remember ever being really close friends with Red Hood,” Roy said. “I was pretty much out of the Titans by the time you came along, and we sure didn't get along after that.”

 

Jason's face had totally frozen. “We,” and he looked like such a  _kid_ for a second and that was not something Roy was used to at all. “We weren't—aren't—friends?” 

 

“We,” Roy paused. “We haven't been, no.”

 

Jason's fingers were white around the gun and suddenly he was up and moving away, pacing for a bit. “And next you're going to say Kory wasn't close either.”

 

“Um,” Roy blinked. “Kory?” 

 

“You do know who she is, right?” Jason said, narrowing his eyes at Roy.

 

Sitting back up and crossing his legs, Roy nodded. “Of course I know who she is, Jesus.”

 

“So we weren't close then either, were we?” Jason asked, bitter and brittle.

 

“Not that I'm aware of, no,” Roy said. 

 

“So,” Jason said, and stopped pacing to cross his arms over his chest, gun dangling still from one hand. “Just so I understand what's happening here. You're saying you're Roy Harper, only, not from this world.”

 

“Right,” Roy agreed. “Not from this world.” 

 

“So where's my Roy?” Jason grit out and Roy blinked, because man, this kid was ready to fall apart in worry. 

 

“Best guess is in mine,” Roy said. And then, even though this Jason looked tense and angry and desperate, Roy was desperate too, he was just better at hiding it. “Okay, but I have a question?”

 

“What?” Jason snapped. 

 

“Where's Dick?” Roy asked and regretted it based off the fury that washed over Jason's face.

 

-0-

 

Dick's arms were crossed over his chest, and he was staring down at Roy, who was gaping at him. “What do you mean?” Roy repeated, a little desperately, even though in hindsight was becoming more and more obvious that this life wasn't his—couldn't have been his. The bed was too nice, the sheets too clean, the room too—too lived in—and Dick Grayson wrapped around him. 

 

“I mean,” Dick said, and his voice was tight and controlled. Roy wondered how long it had taken him to practice that. “That you aren't my Roy Harper. You're,” and Dick's eyes narrowed. “Too young for one, the wrong tattoos, the wrong,” and he stopped. “It's not that you're wrong,” he said, and Roy hunched his shoulders. “But you're not the Roy from this world.”

 

“Yeah, I sorta got the feeling,” Roy said, laughing to cover how he really wanted to feel. “So, is this your house?”

 

“Roy's, actually,” Dick grit out and Roy curled his hands in his chest because that meant—that meant in that in some world Roy Harper owned this clean apartment, with these nice sheets, and—

 

The door started to open and really Roy was  _impressed_ at how fast Dick moved, like he had practiced it a lot to dive for the robe and throw it around himself before the door was all the way open—not that Roy had been complaining at all at seeing him standing there naked mind—and the little girl peeked her eyes around the door frame. 

 

“Daddy?” she asked, eyes going unerringly to Roy on the bed and he felt his jaw drop.

 

“Lian,” Dick said and his voice was tight again. “Go back to your room.”

 

“Where's Daddy?” she asked and that answered the question of whether she was Dick's kid or not. 

 

“Lian,” Dick repeated and his voice was on the verge of breaking. “Go to your room. I promise I'll be there in a couple minutes, okay?” 

 

“And you'll tell me then?” she asked, one hand still holding the door and she was staring at Roy, who wanted to sink down in the bed and never get up again. 

 

“Yes,” Dick said. “Actually. On your way, call Dinah.”

 

“Okay,” she said, giving Roy another look before slipping out the door and closing it behind her. 

 

“Um,” Roy managed. His hands were shaking. “Who was that?”

 

There was something wrong with Dick's eyes when he looked at him, and Roy couldn't tell if it was anger, pity, sadness or affection and he really didn't want to know which one it was. “Lian Harper,” he said, and that was enough. 

 

Roy pulled his knees up to his chest and squeezed them hard. “I had a kid? Fucking imagine that.”

 

“I don't have to,” Dick said, taking his rhetorical phrase and turning it back literally. 

 

“So I have a kid, a flat, and apparently a lover,” and Dick winced, so tiny Roy almost missed it. “Anything else I should know?”

 

“Maybe you could start with what your world's like,” Dick said, and Roy almost laughed because that was a calculated move he wasn't used to seeing from Nightwing. To demand information before offering any more of his own. “And then we can compare notes.”

 

“I'd really rather not talk about it,” Roy admitted after a beat when suddenly there was a sound, a shuffle, and Oliver Queen threw open the door of his bedroom.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm taking guesses at some of the continuity and changes here, because I know Bruce was only Bats 5 years when the new52 started so six years seemed a decently safe bet.
> 
> Also in terms of when this is set in both stories: Pre52 is at the point between Dick leaving the Outsiders (being fired?) and Final Crisis. New52 is sometime before Forever Evil (Which means a) Roy doesn't really know the CS and b) Dick is still Nightwing and thus actually _findable)._
> 
> Names do weird things in the new 52 also? Like, I don't fully understand. 
> 
> (I will try and take another stab at writing 52 Kory down the road of this story but like I do not get her and want to tear my own face off when I think about it so sorry about that)

Roy wasn't sure he would ever have been prepared for Oliver Queen to come roaring through the doorway of his apartment looking frantic. “What the hell is going on?” he yelled and Roy just stared.

 

Dick, meanwhile, looked furious. “Ollie,” he said. “I'm pretty sure I was very clear about asking for Batman.”

 

“Yes of course you were,” Oliver said, not having quite focused his gaze on Roy yet. “But you're the one who said that my boy wasn't on this planet anymore—” and his eyes finally got all the way from Dick over to the bed and came to a dead stop on Roy. “What the hell is going on.”

 

“How did you even get here before Batman?” Dick demanded and Roy's hands were shaking where they were twisted up in the sheet.

 

“Dick,” Oliver said, not answering him. “What is going on?”

 

Dick sighed, his shoulders sagging. “Working theory is that two Roy's switched places.”

 

“You sure that's Roy?” Oliver asked, looking over at him.

 

Dick's face twisted for a second and Roy wanted to crawl under the bed. “Yes,” he said, and there was actually _ice_ in his voice. “I'm certain.”

 

“Do we know anything more?” and suddenly Batman was sweeping into the room and Roy had been pretty sure nothing he did would ever get the attention of Nightwing, Batman, and Green Arrow, all in the same room. Even when he was going to die they hadn't paid any attention. 

 

“No,” Dick said, and seemed to be perfectly comfortable facing down Batman in a terrycloth bathrobe. Roy wondered if that was the same in his world or something that came after long practice. “I woke up this morning and this Roy was here.”

 

“So you and Roy again huh?” Oliver said and Dick and Batman both stared at him. “You're not gonna break his heart again right?”

 

Dick cringed like he wanted to protest that and couldn't figure out how and that confused Roy because he was pretty sure it should have been the other way around. “Now is not the time,” Dick grit out. 

 

“Really?” Oliver asked. “Now seems like a great time. I know Roy and I have had our differences too—” 

 

“Your differences,” Dick repeated, incredulous and Roy was fairly certain Batman was studying him intently behind the white out lenses. 

 

“I care about him too damnit!” Oliver yelled. “You can't just try and cut me out of what's happening!”

 

“I'm not—” Dick started and Roy finally broke in, for the first time since Oliver Queen walked through the door. 

 

“You,” he said, voice wavering and for a second all three of them looked at him so he pointed at Oliver. “Get out.”

 

He had never seen Oliver's face crumble up like that, and it was the expression itself on that face that made it so weird, not his strange goatee. “Roy—” Oliver started, and there was pain and longing in his voice and Roy didn't want to deal with that  _at all_ . 

 

“Get out,” he repeated, and he was shaking like a leaf but his voice was firm. 

 

“Ollie,” Batman said and he sounded _sympathetic_. “Please wait outside.” 

 

“Fine,” Oliver said, and turned on his heel, slamming the door behind him. 

 

Silence fell over the room for a moment, Dick and Batman staring at each other. They turned back to Roy in tandem and he blinked. He wondered how long they had been working together because he did not remember that from his world's Nightwing and Batman. 

 

“I would like to take some samples,” Batman said after a beat. Even knowing what his name really was, Roy had never been able to stop thinking of him as _Batman_ even in his own head. “To see how similar you are to our Roy.” He spoke, if possible, even more like he was used to having all his orders followed then Roy's Batman. “I'll also stop by, see if anyone has any ideas why or how this happened.”

 

Dick looked like he was biting back a smile. “And by that you mean your first stop will be Zatanna...” 

 

Batman looked at him and Dick ducked his head. “Yes, probably,” Batman agreed after a beat. “It is the most logical first stop.” He looked at Roy again. “You are going to stay with Nightwing,” he said, as if Dick was in his costume and not still naked under that bathrobe. “Until we know more about what is going on.”

 

“Is that for my protection or yours?” Roy asked, unsure if it was a protection thing or guarding him.

 

Batman's mouth thinned. “Both,” he said. “You do not know much about this world, and we know nothing of yours. You could be from the same world as Owlman and the Crime Syndicate for all we know.”

 

“Who?” Roy asked and that didn't seem to impress Batman at all. 

 

“Give me your arm,” he said instead and Roy finally held it out as Dick slipped from the room. He heard voices out in the hallway, Oliver and Dick and another woman's voice. Closing his eyes, he let Batman poke and prod him and tried not to hear what they were saying.

 

-0-

 

“Why do _you_ care where Dick is?” Jason snarled and Roy considered before with a sigh he flopped back down on the ground. 

 

“Do you think maybe I could get some more clothes?” he asked after a beat, because while living with Lian had taught him—if not yet Dick—the importance of wearing pajamas, he sorta wanted something more then the cotton pants he was currently wearing.

 

“How about you answer my question first?” Jason demanded.

 

“Because,” Roy started and narrowed his eyes slightly at Jason. He was furious and wounded and terrified and—

 

“Oh shit,” Roy sighed. “You're in love with him.”

 

“Dick?” Jason yelped and honestly—okay. What. 

 

“No, Roy Harper,” Roy said, meeting Jason's eyes and he tensed. “You're in love with your Roy Harper.” 

 

Jason's face started twisting in several different directions. “I don't know what you're talking about.”

 

“Yeah,” Roy sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “It's okay, talking about your emotions is not something bat boys are really capable of.”

 

“You sound like you would know,” Jason said and his fingers were tight on the gun he was still holding. “You're in love with Dick, aren't you?” There was a lot of rage there, and a lot of hurt and Roy wanted to be out of there very, very badly. 

 

“You mean, instead of you,” Roy said, not answering one way or the other and Jason had his gun up again and pointed at Roy's face. “Aw, come on,” Roy said as the place shook a little and Kory walked in.

 

At least, Roy assumed that could only be Kory, with her fire hair and green eyes. “Who is this?” she asked, frowning, and Roy flopped back to the ground. “Where is Roy?”

 

“I would really like some clothes,” Roy said to the ceiling.

 

-0-

 

After Batman left, Dick came back into the room. He had dressed at some point, in jeans and a leather coat and for some reason a hideously bright yellow t-shirt. “So you have clothes here?” Roy asked, still in the middle of the bed.

 

“Yeah,” Dick said, tossing another pair of jeans and a shirt on the bed. “Those might still be a little bit on you but—” 

 

“Other Roy and me aren't the same size?” Roy asked, trying to make a joke of it. He had only been wearing his uniform pants when he came through and somehow Dick's idea about civilian clothes seemed a good one.

 

Dick blinked and shook his head. “No, no not really. Those are mine, actually.”

 

Roy almost said something else before he just inched along the bed, grabbed the clothes and moved back to where he was. They stared at each other for a moment before Dick seemed to realize what Roy was waiting for. 

 

“Oh,” he said, taking a step for the door. “I'll be, right out there then,” and he shut the door behind him. 

 

Left alone for the first time since he woke up, Roy looked around the room again, at the few pictures on the dresser, the tacked up kid's drawings on the wall. Standing, he leaned down to take a better look at the pictures on the dresser and swallowed hard. 

 

That couldn't be him—right? There was a tattoo though it was different, and he was smiling so broadly, holding that little girl who had run in that morning. There was another one of the two of them and Dick, Dick's hands shoved in to his pockets and looking almost shyly up at them. There was another of Dick, hair mussed standing in front of a waterfall, looking like he was caught between laughing and crying and that seemed like an odd picture to have.

 

Beside that, and his stomach turned over, was a picture of Roy and Oliver Queen, Oliver's hands thrown over his shoulders, and another man with dark skin and blond hair. Another of a blond girl curled up on the couch, flipping off whoever was taking the photo with her nose in a book. There was one of him and Strong Bow, faded around the corners and he swallowed hard. 

 

The newest looking photo was of Oliver Queen getting—married? Roy picked it up, and there was Oliver Queen and Dinah Drake holding up a marriage certificate and kissing each other. His hand shook as he put it down, and there at the back was another photo. Slowly, glancing at the door to make sure Dick wasn't about to come back in, he picked it up. 

 

It looked old and there was a group of kids, wearing masks sitting together. Someone—someone way too young to have ever been a superhero right?—was dressed in red and green and yellow, his head thrown back as he laughed, and a boy in red and yellow was pressed against his side, laughing too, while a girl in Wonder Woman's colors was hiding her laugh behind her hands, and a boy with pale skin and a blue and red uniform had his arms crossed as if he was annoyed, but his head was tilted back and he was smiling. The only one who really looked annoyed was the red head in yellow and red highlights and the Flash's mark on his chest, standing over all of them with his arms spread out but on second look even he was smiling. 

 

Roy couldn't breath when he put the picture down. 

 

“Are, are you dressed?” Dick's voice came through the door and Roy finally actually pulled the clothes on, still staring at the pictures.

 

He didn't dare go over and look at the wall of drawings. 

 

“Yeah, okay,” he called, buttoning the jeans that were too big around and Dick pushed the door open again. 

 

“I'll get you a belt,” he said and disappeared again, returning in moments. “Here,” he said, handing it over and Roy took it silently, working it through the loops before finally looking at Dick again. 

 

“Thanks,” he said. 

 

Dick's eyes were shadowed. “How are you doing?” he asked and Roy shrugged. 

 

“Fine,” he said, voice cracking on his blatant lie.

 

Dick didn't call him on it. “Ollie and Dinah took Lian for today,” he said quietly. “They'll bring her back tonight, or probably have Connor do it. But I thought it might be easier, just for a while, if you have to deal with as little as possible.”

 

“Because you don't think I can handle it?” Roy snapped, even though clearly he couldn't. 

 

“Because Ollie freaked you out this morning and there's no reason to make this harder,” Dick said, calmly. 

 

“What was Oliver even doing here?” Roy asked. “Why do I have... have pictures of him like we're family?” 

 

Dick blinked again, and Roy was starting to notice it was what he did, when he needed a moment to speak. “I've never heard you call him Oliver,” Dick said. “He's always been Ollie.” 

 

“I guess that's a difference between our worlds then,” Roy said. 

 

“So Ollie is the Green Arrow in this world, and when talking about the one in your world we'll call him Oliver,” Dick said. “That might help actually.” He ran a hand through his hair and Roy watched, his eyes following Dick's hand. “Okay, so tell me about you and Oliver.”

 

“You aren't answering my question,” Roy snapped, hands clenching. 

 

“I want to hear your answer first,” Dick said, still calm. 

 

“So you can decide what to tell me?” Roy said. “What not to tell me?”

 

“Partially,” Dick admitted. “But you'll have to excuse us too. A lot of the worlds we've encountered have not been... very friendly.”

 

“How do I know you aren't the evil mirror world?” Roy snapped. “You all could be, could be secretly villains.”

 

Dick opened his mouth and then shrugged. “Fair. But Batman was Batman, wasn't he?”

 

“Is he usually not if he's evil?” Roy asked. 

 

“Sometimes, usually not,” Dick said. “Anyway. You and Oliver.”

 

“There isn't much to tell,” Roy said, through grit teeth and that belayed everything. “He wanted someone to work with except not, you know, me.”

 

“Not you?” Dick frowned. 

 

“He took me in and then kicked me back out,” Roy said. “Took away everything he gave me and left me for dead. I even,” and he cut off because this Dick looked at him like he still cared, and he was calm and kind and Roy didn't need to tell him what he tried to do after Oliver kicked him out. “He decided I wasn't worth anything.”

 

Dick frowned, running his hand through his hair again. “Okay. You and Ollie have definitely had times when you didn't get along. He... reacted badly when you got on heroine and kicked you out then too—” 

 

“Heroin?” Roy twitched.

 

“You were just a teenager,” Dick said and was looking steadily at the wall and not Roy. “He wasn't very good at being a father, really.”

 

“Wait, he raised me?” Roy said, almost a squeak and Dick looked back at him. 

 

“He didn't raise you?” he asked. 

 

Roy thought of the picture and reached back to pick it up. “These kids,” he said. 

 

“You, me, Garth, Donna, and Wally,” Dick said. “We were the first Teen Titans.”

 

“The first?” Roy asked and looked at the picture again. He could recognize Dick in the lines of the boy with his head thrown back, and himself in the red and gold boy with the yellow hat. “These were us?” 

 

Dick frowned. “I've known you most of my life, Roy,” he said, and Roy could feel his eyes prick, at the idea someone could have known him that long and  _ still be around _ . 

 

“I think,” Roy said. “You were sixteen when Batman took you in.”

 

Dick actually blanched and Roy had no idea what to do so he set the picture back down because he couldn't stare at it anymore. “Six... sixteen?” Dick said weakly. “But,” and his voice was tiny. He cut it off ruthlessly and shook his shoulders out. “Ollie raised you,” he said, voice firm again. “He has his problems and you've fought and things have been bad. But he raised you and you consider each other family now, along with Connor and Mia and Dinah and Lian.” 

 

Roy's hands were shaking again.

 

“Hey, Dick?” he asked, because otherwise he was going to sit on the floor and cry. “Does, does this Roy have any baseball caps?”

 

“Um,” Dick frowned. “I think... the couple he does are pretty sentimental, and you came through with what you were wearing so I'd rather not, accidentally,” he trailed off, looking at Roy's face. “Let's go out and get one,” he said, pulling out a wallet from his back pocket to check something in it. 

 

“Okay,” Roy said, because he needed to get out of this apartment or he really was going to cry. Or scream. 

 

-0-

 

Roy sat back in the seat, watching Jason pilot with single minded intensity. “So,” he started and Jason grunted again in annoyance. “Don't wanna talk?”

 

“I want my own Roy back,” Jason said, hands on the controls and eyes facing front. “So I'll do whatever I need to to get you... situated or whatever you need to do which is the _only_ reason I'm ever honoring this request because maybe it's something you need to do before you can go home. But there's no reason to talk about it.”

 

Roy drummed his fingers on the arm of the chair. “Kory seemed pretty, uh, distant?” 

 

“Whatever,” Jason muttered, because Kory had taken a look at Roy, decided he wasn't the human she cared about, and had taken off again to do—whatever it was she was doing. Roy didn't ask. He had enough trouble squaring this Jason with Red Hood he didn't want to dwell on Kory too.

 

“Okay,” he sighed. 

 

Except after a few more minutes, Jason was looking at him. “So you and Dick,” he said, and there was still some bitterness and anger in there.

 

“To be fair,” Roy said, tilting his head back. “I never knew you very well. Dick was Robin for a long time, and I was older then him when I started this gig, so it's not like we were in the same age bracket of kid superheroes.”

 

“Kid superheros?” Jason asked. “You were an adult.”

 

“Okay,” Roy frowned at the ceiling. “That's weird.”

 

“So was Dick, practically,” Jason said. “I mean, we were all late teens before Damian.”

 

Roy frowned at him. “Okay,” he said finally, because he couldn't imagine his childhood without Dick, even younger then himself and so bright, or Donna with their fumbling romance that went no where, and Wally with his motormouth and Garth, quiet but always there. But especially not with Dick. “Was Bats just on his own for a long time or something?”

 

“Depends on how long,” Jason said. “He's been Batman six years.”

 

“I'm sorry,” Roy managed. “ _What?_ ”

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok I literally thought two people were going to get a kick out of this story so the response it's gotten has made me really happy!
> 
> Apparently lots of people agree that 52 Roy needs hugs and pre Roy has some business punching people in the face (When he's done giving out his own hugs that is)

“What's so surprising about that?” Jason asked, looking over at him again, as Roy sagged against the seat he was in, a hand covering his mouth.

 

“Holy shit,” he muttered.

 

“ _What_?” Jason demanded.

 

“That means I've been a superhero longer then _Batman_ has in this world,” Roy said. “Dude, even Dick was in on the side kick gig before I—well just about before anyone else was. Which means no matter how you cut it, Bats has always been around longer then me. Holy shit I've been in the business longer then _Batman_. What about Supes?”

 

“The same,” Jason said, surprise making his voice sound hollow.

 

“Mary mother of god,” Roy said shaking his head and looking out over the city Jason was putting them down in. “Chicago?”

 

“It's where Nightwing's been working out of,” Jason said.

 

“But,” Roy started and sucked on his teeth rather then finish. Dick and Blüdhaven hadn't really done each other many favors in the end. Sometimes he still found himself awake in the middle of the night, holding Dick and wondering if the radiation from Chemo would give Dick cancer because of how much he had exposed himself too. At least there were no obvious scars so he just traced Dick's hipbones and hoped. 

 

He had been so far away when it had happened. He should have known better, for once, then to follow Dick's orders.

 

“Okay,” he said, snapping himself out of it. “Do you know where to find him here?” 

 

“Don't really have to,” Jason said and pointed out the window. There on a roof, even though it was the middle of the day sat Dick and even from here, even though he was so much younger and god damn even skinnier, Roy still knew it was him.

 

Except—

 

Roy sucked in a breath because it was different from what he wore as Renegade but it was  _ red _ and Dick never wore red—

 

“You sure that's still Nightwing?” he asked, voice too tight.

 

“What the hell are you talking about?” Jason demanded, setting his plane down on a rooftop, Dick already moving across from the one he had been sitting on.

 

“It's red,” Roy said. 

 

“He's always worn red,” Jason said, looking at him sideways and Roy let out the breath he had been holding. 

 

“Damn,” he said except he was already undoing the harness and moving fast because that wasn't his Dick outside the door and yet he still felt the desperate need to get out there and see him as soon as possible. 

 

“He doesn't where you're from?” Jason asked, and there was something hesitant in the way he asked. 

 

“Always been more about blue and gold,” Roy said, throwing the door open.

 

-0-

 

Roy looked around the mall, trying not to focus too much on anything in particular. He couldn't remember the last time he was in a mall just casually shopping. “I'm not sure I can afford anything in a place like this,” he admitted before remembering that for that matter, he had no money with him.

 

“It's okay,” Dick said, hands in his pockets and constantly scanning around them. In fact since they left the apartment, Dick had never _stopped_. “I can buy a hat for you. And new pants if you want. A better fitting shirt. If you're going to be here, for, well, however long there's no reason to do it in discomfort.”

 

Roy bit his lip hard and shrugged. “I don't want to be a bother,” he said, because Dick was offering this so casually, as if he would always spring money to make Roy comfortable.

 

To be fair, he woke up with Dick naked in his bed so maybe that was the truth. He still wished he had been aware enough to actually enjoy that feeling, however fleeting, of having Dick in bed with him.

 

“It's not a bother,” Dick said. 

 

“I've already ruined your entire day,” Roy protested. “You're babysitting me instead of doing whatever you need to be doing.”

  
Dick stopped scanning the room to focus on Roy. “It's fine,” he said, meeting Roy's eyes. “I don't mind.”

 

“Uh,” Roy started. “Dude, no one cares about me that much, to be fine babysitting me all day.”

 

Something shuttered abruptly in Dick's eyes. “Cares about you?” he asked, voice falsely light. “I spend the day with Roy Harper all the time.”

 

Roy felt something bubble up in his chest and he didn't look at whether it was a scream or tears too hard. “The only—the  _ only _ people who care about me at all are Kory and Jason and—” he stopped abruptly. “Oh my god.  _ Jason _ . Where's Jason? Is he alive, is he okay?”

 

“Jason?” Dick stopped almost completely. “Todd?”

 

“Yeah, Red Hood? He is Red Hood right, I mean, he's alive?” 

 

“Yeah,” Dick said, hesitantly. “He's alive.”

 

“We aren't even friends here, are we?” Roy asked, smile faint and bitter and Dick blinked. 

 

“Even,” he started and stopped, eyes alighting like he _knew_. “Oh.” He looked away, rubbing his hands together. “You said Kory too?”

 

“Yeah,” Roy said. “It's the three of us.” 

 

Dick sucked in a breath and let it out. “The three of you, in, a, uh, relationship?” he asked.

 

“Oh,” Roy laughed. “Not all at once.” Dick's eyes finally slid back over to him. “I mean, Kory and I, sure, but it was never, you know. I have no idea about her and Jason. And Jason and I that's, uh, super new. Like, two days new. No, three days new?”

 

Dick was still staring at him.

 

“Oh,” Roy said. “I mean, I know, you and Kory? Did that still happen in this world?”

 

“Yes,” Dick said, and there was something stilted and horrible in the way he said it before he was turning away. “There,” he said pointing. “They have hats in there, take a look.” 

 

Roy obediently turned. “Think they have any in green?”

 

“Green?” Dick asked and actually laughed. “And people tease me about color blindness?” 

 

“Do they?” Roy asked and took a look at the bright yellow shirt Dick was wearing. “You seem to have the leather jacket and jeans thing down at least.”

 

Dick huffed out a breath and turned away, and Roy was distracted by the line of his jaw. Sometimes he forgot, because it had been awhile since he last saw Dick Grayson, how pretty he was. “You should see me in anything else I pick out,” he said with a shrug. He trailed his hand along the shelf as he walked down one of the displays.

 

Roy grabbed the first green baseball cap he saw just because he needed something on his head to feel normal again. “You didn't answer my questions about Jason.”

 

“He's alive,” Dick said slowly. “He's not really one for teamwork in any of it's guises though. You and him aren't close though I think you've compared guns before.”

 

“Uh, guns?” Roy asked. 

 

“You used them for a while,” Dick said. “You've gone back to the bow though, over any other weapon. Pretty versatile though.”

 

“Oh,” Roy said. “That's, uh, cool.” 

 

Dick looked at him. “So you hang out with Jason and Kory,” he said. “Don't get along with Oliver.”

 

“Yeah, that's my life story right there,” Roy muttered and he could feel the weight of Dick's gaze. 

 

“No other friendships?” Dick asked quietly. “No teams, nothing?”

 

“Teams?” Roy asked. “I mean, not the fucking Justice League or anything like that. I guess you could call me and Kory and Jason a team.”

 

Dick's hands, he realized, were curling and uncurling. “What about the Teen Titans?”

 

“I don't know,” Roy said. “I think Red Robin and Superboy or something.”

 

“Who's on the Justice League?” Dick asked and he had stopped in front of a display and Roy craned his neck around to see several action figures displayed and he felt his stomach swoop because there was a little Green Arrow figure, grinning up at him. Batman's spot was totally empty, and he noticed because Dick put his hand there, smiling faintly. 

 

“I don't know,” Roy said. “When were you gonna tell me you're on the League?”

 

“Excuse me?” Dick asked, frowning over at him.

 

“You had the communicator this morning,” Roy said. “I mean, congratulations and all—” 

 

“I'm not on the League,” Dick said and there was ice in his voice again.

 

“They didn't ask you?” Roy asked weakly because he couldn't figure out what else could cause such a response.

 

“No, they did,” Dick said.

 

“Is that why you have the con but not—”

 

“Roy,” Dick cut in. “No. You're on the League.” 

 

Roy froze, forgetting to breath. “Don't lie to me,” he whispered.

 

“I'm not,” Dick said and he moved, riffling through the figures until he found one and pulled it out and Roy stared at the one labeled Red Arrow and—it looked like the other him in the pictures. He accepted it gingerly, holding it in his hands and squinting at the packaging. 

 

“This can't be real,” he whispered. 

 

When he looked up Dick's eyes were shadowed and sad and he felt the lump in his throat tighten toward tears again.

 

“What kind of place do you come from?” Dick whispered and Roy gave up, burying his face in his hands and dropping the figure. There was a pause as he cried and he thought he heard something move, as if Dick was scooping it back up off the floor before suddenly Dick's arms were around him and he was pulled tight in against his chest. 

 

Dick held him and let him cry onto his jacket, and it felt like Dick didn't give a damn who was staring at a grown ass man crying in the toy section of a novelty store.

 

It only made him cry harder, the sobs catching in his lungs and making him choke on them.

 

-0-

 

“Jason, what is going on?” Dick asked, and he was perched on the wall around the roof, his hands helping him balance. “Who is—” 

 

Roy had made it all the way across the roof before Jason had done much more to get out of the plane. Dick tensed as he approached, head cocked to one side in confusion and Roy didn't even care that his damn lenses were the wrong color, he just grabbed him around the shoulders and dragged him into a tight hug.

 

“What the hell,” Dick started and Roy could feel him tense, already starting to consider how to get out of his hold. 

 

“Don't fucking look at me,” Jason muttered. “All he's been talking about is Dick Dick Dick.”

 

“What?” Dick asked, tensing even more. “I don't know you how do—”

 

“It's a long story,” Roy said, finally pulling out of the hug and racking his eyes up and down Dick. “Man, what are you, twenty-one?” He still had his hands on Dick's shoulders.

 

“As opposed to some other age?” Dick frowned, twitching one shoulder like he was trying to get Roy to let go. 

 

“Man, you are too young to be on your own in a city,” Roy breathed and Dick was outright gaping at him. It had been a long time since Roy had seen such an unguarded expression on Dick's face. “You should be tucked safe into a team somewhere.”

 

“Okay, what the hell?” Dick managed, shoving at his chest and this time Roy finally went back. 

 

“Sorry,” Roy said, holding his hands up. “I went about that wrong. I'm just happy to see you.”

 

“I'm pretty sure I don't know you,” Dick said, and Roy noticed his hands went to his thighs, were his escrima sticks were holstered and wow that was distracting. “Jason Todd is not much of a recommendation either.”

 

Jason crossed his arms and was scowling. “Stuff it up yours, Dick,” he said and Roy was pretty sure he meant his name as in insult.

 

“This is going to sound a little crazy but it's been one of those mornings,” Roy said. “But I'm Roy Harper.”

 

Dick stopped and Roy could feel him looking him up and down from behind the lenses of his mask. “You sure don't look like the Roy I know,” he said, quiet. “The tats are wrong, for one. You're older too.”

 

“Yeah, that's where the second part comes in. I'm the Roy Harper from a different world then this.”

 

Dick's jaw was dropped again.

 

“Oh come on, surely you've had some contact or crazy experience with dimension hopping and combining and that sort of bullshit. Someone popping in from another world, claiming they know the future and want to save you from it? Some whiny teenager punching the walls of reality because he's a little shit? The Crime Syndicate or whatever the hell they're called? Some evil version of the Justice League because the Flash died and Supes and Bats mutually went nuts? Anything?”

 

“You're trying to convince me you're Roy Harper from another world?” Dick asked. “Why? I mean, if you were, why come to me? Shouldn't you go to the League or somewhere, where they can actually deal with this? I'm just a street level guy here—”

 

“You're the first thing he asked for when he woke up here,” Jason said, lazily leaning against the plane with his arms crossed. “So here we are.”

 

Dick frowned, his shoulders tensing before he slowly looked up at Roy. “The first thing?” he asked and something in his voice sounded so confused and lonely Roy ached. Even in the worst days, when Dick would barely look at him, when he ordered him around and ignored him, he didn't sound that lost and never that vulnerable.

 

“Oh my god,” Roy breathed. “You are _dying_ in this world.”

 

“Excuse me?” and Dick was on the defensive, puffed up like an angry cat. “What the hell?”

 

“Of how lonely you are,” Roy said. 

 

“I'm not—”

 

“You're a kid!” Roy was almost yelling. “You're already out on your own. You should have a team—I mean, who are your friends, Dick? Me?”

 

“No,” Dick said, and his throat worked. “We never, really, I tried—” 

 

“Not very well!” Jason called from the plane and Dick winced. 

 

“Okay,” Roy said. “Who else?”

 

“I have friends here, I have room mates. And the circus and—”

 

“No, Dick, I mean who know _who you are_ and aren't in the goddamn Bat family. Your cluster of Robins don't count. Speaking of, how the fuck did Bats go through that many Robins if he's only been Bats for six years?” and he turned to Jason when he asked. 

 

“I don't know,” Jason shrugged. “He just did?”

 

“Okay because you were Robin for almost a _decade_ ,” Roy said and Dick gaped at him. “Okay. Wally West?” 

 

“Who?” Dick asked.

 

“Donna Troi?”

 

“I have no idea—” 

 

“Garth? Fuck, tell me _Garth_ at least knows you! You know, purple eyes, fucking claps when you walk into a room?” 

 

Dick was just staring at him. “Who are those people? Why should I know them?”

 

“And you're not with Kory,” Roy said and Dick's shoulders tensed, his eyes flickering to Jason.

 

“No.”

 

“Jesus Christ,” Roy breathed. “On a stick.” 

 

“Jason what the hell is going on?” Dick asked, finally just looking at him. “What is he even talking about?”

 

“I don't know,” Jason said and when Roy glanced over at him he looked confused and a little angry. “He showed up like this, like I said, said he was Roy from another world and wanted to talk to you. I don't recognize those names either, okay?”

 

“What do you do without Donna?” Roy breathed and even as it made him ache he wondered if that wasn't a good thing for Dick. Because at least this way he would never have to watch her die and Roy would never fail to pick up the pieces. 

 

“I don't even know who that is,” Dick said, looking at him again. “I suppose that's how.”

 

The three of them stood silent for a long moment, both of them staring at Roy who turned abruptly to look over the Chicago skyline, hands tight.

 

“Why,” Dick started, voice small again. “Why did you come looking for me, of all people?” 

 

“Dick, you think that would be obvious.” 

 

“Shut up, Jason.”

 

“Because I'm used to us being a team,” Roy lied. 

 


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Figuring out how DC series match up with each other just makes no sense at a certain point. Since Roy's timeline is sometime pre/in the middle of the Final Crisis stuff, I'm assuming he's heard OF Damian, but this is before Damian became Robin in his world so. Go with me. 
> 
> (Also I have no idea if Croc eats people in the New 52 but considering his adoption of like all Gotham's wayward kids let's say he doesn't?? Maybe?)

“Okay, you know what?” Roy said suddenly, turning back around.

 

“What?” Jason asked, Dick still teetering on the edge of the roof and looking wary.

 

“I've decided the next thing I want to do in this world.”

 

“Is it gonna get us any closer to getting my Roy back?” Jason asked and Dick's eyes seemed to slide over to him at the possessive use of _my_.

 

“Maybe, maybe not,” Roy admitted. “But I really want to punch the Batman in the face.”

 

For a second there was dead silence.

 

“Wh-what? Why?” Dick asked and Jason burst out laughing.

 

“Okay, I'm flying you to Gotham because in case you _can_ do that I'm dying to see you manage it.”

 

“Jason,” Dick hissed.

 

“Fuck you, Dickie-bird. If he thinks he can punch Batman in the face I'd love to see someone manage it.”

 

“But,” and Dick was looking between them. “I'm sorry, why do you want to punch Batman?”

 

“Because I am currently very angry at him,” Roy said and Dick was still staring at him, mouth hanging a little open as Jason slung himself back into his plane. When Roy turned toward it, Dick hopped down and strode over to him, climbing into the plane too.

 

“What, you coming too, Dickie-bird?” Jason asked, and there was an edge of anger in there.

 

“I'm not sure exactly what's going on,” Dick said. “But yes, I'm coming too. Even if it's just to keep an eye on the two of you.” Except he kept looking over at Roy and Roy decided he was going to try and ignore it as the plane took off again, turning toward Gotham.

 

-0-

 

“Why did you buy the figure?” Roy asked, following Dick into the apartment. He had a bag of Chinese take out in one hand, and Roy was carrying the clothes Dick had bought, the action figure placed on top of the bag so that he had more or less been staring at it the whole way back.

 

“Lian always likes them,” Dick shrugged. “I don't remember if she has that one or not. Or,” and he gave Roy a serious look over his shoulder and honestly no one should be able to pull that sort of look off in jeans and a teeshirt and carrying take out. “You can keep it if you want. It's probably dorky, I know, and you'd have to have it with you in a pocket or something when we get you two home but,” he shrugged. “If you wanted it.”

 

And he looked so serious and earnest Roy almost screamed.

 

“I never realized Dick Grayson was this much of a dork,” he said, because anything else was going to lead to tears.

 

But Dick just laughed, making sure the door was locked behind them before making his way back over to the small kitchen's island, pulling boxes of take out from the bag. “I guess that means you haven't heard me singing then? Because that apparently wipes away a lot of misconceptions about me.”

 

“No,” Roy said, hovering awkwardly. After a second he looked at the bag again. “I'm gonna change,” he decided, retreating back to the bedroom.

 

When he came back out, he had stripped the figure out of it's plastic packaging and stuck it in a pocket. While he decided what if he wanted it or not. Dick was still fiddling with the food, putting heaping servings onto the different plates. He was humming under his breath and Roy could already tell he was totally tone-deaf.

 

“What do you want to drink?” Dick asked, without looking up at him and Roy totally froze.

 

“Wh-what?” he asked, and Dick looked up. Because what Roy wanted—what Roy almost always wanted, especially when he was scared or stressed or had been crying again—was a beer or something stronger. Even the thought of Killer Croc yelling at the back of his head wasn't enough sometimes.

 

He really wanted a drink badly enough his hands were shaking from it but he still couldn't quite get the words past his throat. Dick was frowning at him though which meant he had to say something and fast. “Beer,” he blurted out.

 

“No,” Dick said and Roy gaped at him.

 

“No? How did you know—”

 

“Know what?” Dick asked, still frowning at him and at least there was the kitchen island and plates full of food between them.

 

“That I'm an alcoholic,” Roy said faintly.

 

“I didn't,” Dick said. “There's just—no beer in the apartment. I don't drink it and I'm not going to go out and buy any, and lately Roy hasn't been either. I think it's because he usually wants it when he's jonesing for something else and that's not a good road to go down,” he shrugged. “I'm not really sure.” Suddenly he pinned Roy with a sharp look. “So you're alcoholic.”

 

“Recovering,” Roy managed past his dry throat. “Mostly. Sometimes. I try to be.”

 

“But, not with anything else?” Dick asked, hesitant.

 

“No,” Roy said, remembering Dick's dropped comment about heroin before. “Are, are you recovering too?” he asked, because Dick had been so firm about saying no.

 

“No,” Dick said. “I just... don't. I never have. If you think about it, heroes often have addictive personalities, you know? Why play with that fire. Besides, Bruce was pretty firm about not impairing your judgment. So I just don't.”

 

“That must be nice,” Roy said and he realized he had taken apart most of the toaster, Dick watching him but making no comment on it. “Um. Sorry.”

 

“We can always buy a new toaster,” Dick said after a beat. “What are you doing with it?”

 

“I don't know yet,” Roy said and Dick frowned again about the time the door shoved open and Ollie Queen came through it again.

 

-0-

 

“Well, Gotham's not totally changed,” Roy said, looking out over the sky line. “Still creepy, still old.”

 

“Home sweet home or something,” Jason said.

 

“There's a certain beauty in this place,” Dick protested and the had reached Gotham at night, so that Batman was probably already out. Dick had considered calling him on his comm but had decided against it.

 

Instead they were on a roof, waiting to see if trouble or the Batman himself would show up first.

 

“It's weird,” Roy said. “Some buildings are the same, some are totally different. I mean even beside,” and he stopped before he could mention the earthquake. Or the buildings No Man's Land had taken down that had survived the earthquake itself. He tried not to reach out for Dick, like he always did when he thought about loosing him for so long, and the thin lines of his face when they all finally came out of Gotham again.

 

“Gotham get regularly beat up in your world too?” Jason asked with a huff. “What a motherfucker of a city.”

 

“Jason,” Dick started and there was a rustle and a dropping sound, all three of them turned around in time to see Killer Croc alighting on the roof. Roy's hand was halfway to his bow that wasn't with him when Jason stepped forward.

 

“I was looking for you, Todd,” Croc said.

 

“Yeah?” Jason asked, and he looked like he was as ready to retreat backward as go forward.

 

“I was wondering where Harper was,” Cros said, and he was holding himself as warily as the others, tail lashing behind him.

 

At least when Roy looked over, Dick looked as floored as he felt. “I'm sorry, what?” he asked and that got Killer Croc's attention on him which made his fingers itch for a gun. Not even his bow, but an actual gun.

 

“Who are you?” Killer Croc asked.

 

Jason looked between them for a minute. “What,” he said finally when Roy was obviously not going to reply. “Has Roy been missing his meetings or something?”

 

“Yes,” Croc said and Roy almost demanded to know what they were talking about again.

 

“Sorry,” Jason said. “We had some cosmic level bullshit going on. I mean, last week. This week is a whole different level of cosmic bullshit so when he gets back I'll be sure to write him an excuse note and get his ass to the meetings.”

 

“What?” and at least this time it was Dick asking and not Roy.

 

“Sorry, didn't you know that, golden boy?” Jason asked. “Or, sorry, you were too busy doing whatever thing B had you doing so that you had, like usual, no idea about the people around you?”

 

“I'm not,” Dick started.

 

“Don't you dare try and say you weren't doing exactly that, or god forbid you care about him too or any number of things, don't you dare pretend you ever cared—” and Jason was starting to yell.

 

“I do care!” Dick yelled back.

 

“Not enough! You didn't even know Killer Croc was the one who sponsored him in the A.A. did you? Because you only care about whole and nice people in front of you!”

 

“I'm sorry,” Roy broke in before Dick could reply. “Did you just say _Killer Croc_ sponsored Roy Harper in the A. A.?”

 

“Yeah,” Jason said, glaring at him.

 

“But he _eats people!_ ” Roy yelled.

 

“I do not,” Croc said, offended. “Not unless I have to.”

 

“Oh,” Roy said. “Okay, that's a nice difference, I can live with that but you're still saying you, you sponsored him? Are you fucking kidding me? How the fuck did that even _happen_?”

 

“He was pretty low,” Croc said and he was starting to look annoyed. “Tried to get me to kill him. I obviously didn't. Or does that wreck the image you have of me?”

 

“I need to sit down,” Dick said a little weakly. Jason looked pleased somehow, that he had known this and how far Roy had fallen when no one else was paying attention because it meant he at least had been.

 

Roy almost just started screaming.

 

“Jesus Mary mother of God and holy _fuck_ ,” he settled for instead. “That's great, you know it's really great you don't eat people because Killer Croc sponsored me in the A. A. I mean, Jesus, it's _great_ that it's just alcohol and not fucking heroin this time because if that's how I handled that here then _fuck_ knows what hard drugs would have done! I mean, not to downplay what an addiction drink is because Jesus I've seen it destroy people's lives but _Jesus,_ ” and he was gesticulating, hands sweeping from his chest to Killer Croc and around. “I mean, okay, that's just fine there's a world where apparently the only one to give a damn is Killer Croc, at least he doesn't eat people here!”

 

“What is he talking about?” Croc asked, glancing over at Jason.

 

“And I still can't get over how few encounters you people have had with the multiverse! I mean, the downside is that you've missed out the tiny Justice League because let me tell you that's a _laugh_ every time but seriously it's like you still think there's only one world or something! Jesus! Hi, Killer Croc, I'm the Roy Harper from another world. The one who thought heroin was literally the lowest you can get but damn I'm starting to think I had a well adjusted childhood! And that includes the time Green Arrow threw me in an alligator pit and told me to get his bow back! Apparently that's GA at the height of his damn parenting skills! At least he never drove me to try and commit suicide!”

 

He came to a stop, breathing heavily and they were all staring at him.

 

“Jesus,” he covered his face with his hands. “Okay. It's okay. I'm fine.”

 

“There's other worlds?” Croc asked after a beat. “And,” he paused, Roy finally taking his hands back down. “Yeah, you sorta look like Harper. I can see it a little.”

 

“Yeah, we had some pretty different life experiences I guess,” Roy allowed. “Okay. So I mean. Alcohol. And the A. A. I mean, that's good, getting a sponsor and figuring it out. Different withdrawal and issues, that,” and he swallowed. “And assuming we switched places just flat out, which it seems like, means he probably is in the apartment with Dick. And Dick doesn't like drinking so he probably wouldn't let him out to get a drink, that's good, that means he probably won't backslide at all.”

 

Roy realized Jason and Dick were both staring at him.

 

“Did you just say we're room mates?” Dick asked, and Killer Croc was still standing right there.

 

“No,” Roy said. “We're not.”

 

“So why would he wake up where I was?” Dick asked and Jason's face under the domino mask was tight and angry.

 

“Because you were spending the night,” Roy snapped.

 

“Because we had a late night?” Dick asked, still hesitant. “Or, or because—”

 

“You know this complete inability to accept we might be lovers is telling me way more about our relationship here then I honestly ever wanted to know,” Roy said.

 

“That's not,” Dick started and he shoved a nervous hand through his hair, trying to get the long strands away from his face. “It' snot inability it's just—”

 

“Honestly I really have no desire to listen to this sort of conversation,” Jason started.

 

“Surprise then,” Roy snapped.

 

“Is that why you came looking for me?” Dick asked and his face looked so young and so confused. “How long have we known each other even? That you would—”

 

“Rob, I've known you since you _fourteen_ ,” Roy snapped. “Of you before that! I've known you most of my life!” And he slipped accidentally into the name he still was the most used to calling Dick on the field.

 

It still got a reaction from Dick in this universe, his shoulders twitching. “And we've,” he gestured between them.

 

“No, we haven't been together since then,” Roy snapped and they were standing out in the open on a roof top in Gotham, Killer Croc and the Red Hood were still _right there_ but he still only had eyes for Dick Grayson in front of him, even if his suit was all wrong and his face too young and hurt. “Because you can't figure out how to have a damned relationship! I'm not saying I'm much better, fooling around when we were kids and then we both ran off and had the worst affairs imaginable! And I don't blame you for that. Hell I don't even blame you for the last five years when you came to me for what you wanted and nothing more! Because you've always been my best friend, even when you weren't there for me. Because you _have been_ when I needed you the most. You helped me get Lian back and you never gave up on me even when you gave up on yourself. But I'm still not even sure I can call what we have right now a relationship because you come around when you feel like and at least you're doing your damnest with my daughter because she _adores_ you completely at at least you still let me touch you even though I'm still terrified of telling you I love you! Because every time I get close you start twisting away and don't come back for months! Because you almost turned into the man that raised you and even now it's like you're reminding yourself how to use those emotional muscles of yours to care about anyone else!”

 

The other three were dead silent when Roy wrestled his words to a stop, Dick staring at him open mouthed and pale.

 

“Daughter?” Jason was the first to ask when suddenly there was a flurry above them.

 

“Nightwing!” a new voice called, young and high pitched and Roy leaned his head back in confusion, seeing small figure in green boots and a cape come crashing down. “What's going on? Are you okay?” and he was squaring off against Killer Croc.

 

“That's my cue to leave,” Croc decided.

 

“Robin,” Dick said, catching the boy and Roy thought maybe he fit the description of the kid Dick had been telling him about, who showed up at the manner and kicked Tim Drake through the display cases. “Robin, hold,” he said and Robin turned his angry eyes on Roy.

 

“And who is this?” the little boy demanded and another shadow detached from above them, Batman landing on the roof with his cape out.

 

“Nightwing,” he started. “You didn't tell me you were coming to Gotham. And Red Hood,” his voice dropped, closer to something between ice and confusion and before Batman could figure out who he was, or even that he was moving, Roy was in front of him and slamming his fist as hard as he could into his face.

 

Batman staggered back but didn't go down, and it was probably unkind to use how much Jason Todd unbalanced Batman to get the drop on him, but Roy would take what he could get.

 

After all, he knew a lot about the Bat's quirks.

 

“That actually felt better then I even expected it to,” he decided at the same time the littlest Robin launched himself at Roy's back with a roar.

 


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I promised I'd try to finish this fic once I finished Find the Sun and well since that's happened... here we go again.

“I'm pretty certain I specifically asked you not to come here,” Dick said after a moment where Roy just stared at Ollie, clutching the remains of the toaster to his chest and not moving.

 

Ollie's lips drew back in a snarl at him. “Stop trying to order me around. We all know—”

 

“If we all know, there's no point in saying it,” Dick cut him off and Ollie narrowed his eyes at him.

 

“You don't get to be the one to make these decisions on your own,” Ollie said.

 

Roy finally lifted one finger. “But I'm the one who said I didn't want you here,” he said. “It was,” and he had to pause to force his voice to be firm again. “My choice.”

 

Ollie's face twisted and he took a deep breath. “I know we haven't always gotten along here, I know I've messed up, I always have, but Roy—”

 

“Look,” Roy cut him off and Dick was standing to one side, his arms crossed over his chest, eyes darting between the two of them. “I'm sorry, okay? But I'm not your Roy. And you don't want to know about my relationship with Oliver Queen. Okay? You seem like an okay guy, or something. It's going to be better for all of us if you just don't ask.”

 

Ollie's mouth twisted and he tried to speak several times before he bowed his head. “Roy,” he said softly. “Whatever I did—”

 

“You don't want to hear it and I don't want to talk about it,” Roy said. “Sorry, but that's just the way it's going to be.”

 

There was no need to tear the band aids off his own wounds or give any to someone who perhaps didn't do anything to deserve it.

 

“But Roy,” Ollie started.

 

“Maybe for once you shouldn't press,” Dick said softly.

 

“You're my boy too,” Ollie said, looking at Roy and Roy's face twisted. Somehow accepting that Dick Grayson cared about him was hard enough. Accepting the same about Ollie felt like someone was trying to drive a metal pipe through his chest. “I don't care what mistakes I made, and I don't mean me in that other world.

 

“Please just go,” Roy said, hunching over the toaster because it was bad enough he'd cried in front of Dick.

 

This time, Ollie left.

 

When the door closed, Dick ran a hand over his face. “Are you okay?”

 

“How do you feel about having a toaster security robot?” Roy asked instead and Dick blinked at him.

 

“Sure?” he seemed to settle for.

 

-0-

 

Roy went down and really he was still thrilled enough about punching _Batman_ in the _face_ being taken down by the littlest Robin barely even phased him.

 

Which wasn't to say he didn't jam his elbow into the littlest Robin's chin or use his bulk to flip him over his shoulder when he could get his feet back under him. “Robin!” he heard Dick's voice snap out and frankly he still wanted to come to attention at that tone.

 

“He attacked—” the littlest Robin protested, crouched in front of Roy who hadn't raised all the way out of his fighting stance either. He thought he could hear Jason laughing behind him.

 

“Just,” and Dick held his hand out. “Just don't. Not right now.”

 

And Batman was rising in front of him, all hulking shadow and honestly, Roy had put on a lot of bulk and muscle of his own, and this Bruce was a twig compared to his own, but there was something about Batman staring you down in fury that was always terrifying.

 

“Who are you?” Batman demanded.

 

“It's a long story,” Roy said, lazily.

 

“Enlighten me,” Batman said and that command voice had also seemed to carry over.

 

“I'm Roy Harper,” Roy said, and pulled out a grin as he could see Batman's face twist in confusion, even behind the cowl.

 

“That's not possible,” Batman decided after a beat.

 

“Isn't he that lay about archer knock off?” the littlest Robin asked and Jason snarled.

 

“Shut your fucking mouth—”

 

“Robin,” Dick said quietly, and the littlest Robin seemed to settle back.

 

“You're right, it shouldn't be possible,” Roy said. “But hey, impossible is what we do, or something. I'm the Roy from an alternate reality. Not the future, mind, too much shit is different. And not in a good way, mind. I mean, I thought we were fucked up but you have elevated it to a whole new level.”

 

Even with the white out lenses he could tell Batman had narrowed his eyes at him. “There aren't—”

 

“There are,” Roy cut him off. “The fact your little corner has somehow missed out on finding any of the others is frankly a miracle.” He paused. “Though after this little incident maybe that will start up more. In which case, watch out for Earth Three, those people are assholes.”

 

Batman took a step closer. “You expect me to believe you are an alternate version of some minor criminal?”

 

“Minor?” Roy huffed out a breath and shrugged, ignoring the fury he could feel from Jason behind him. “Damn, you are even colder, aren't you? Like, I didn't think that was possible but you're down right a friendly daddy where I come from, huh? At least you give a damn about Red Hood, no matter how many times he tries to burn Gotham down.”

 

He might as well have punched Batman again. “Excuse me?”

 

“Minor criminal? That's how you describe the one person Red Hood gets along with? At least you pretended to care about him where I'm from.”

 

“You have no idea—”

 

“Actually,” Roy considered. “I really don't want to have this conversation with you.” He stopped again. “Nevermind, I do. You are a horrible fucking person, Bruce, and all those tendencies you have actually manage to look _worse_ here.”

 

“You know my name,” Batman said stiffly.

 

“Yeah, that's what happens,” Roy said. “When you've been in the superhero business since you were like, fourteen and best friends with the first Robin, which apparently wasn't a thing here.” He tried not to be too aware of Dick standing behind him, the littlest Robin having drifted over to his side. “But never mind that. It's bad enough when you build yourself a little army in Gotham and then push them away every time you start to doubt your own mission. There's a reason Nightwing's greatest fear was turning into you—and then promptly managing to do exactly that the second he decided caring hurt too much. Whatever, the point is, everything seems _worse_ here. And of course you're at the center of it, going through and discarding Robins within, what, a year each? Maybe two? When did Robin become the superhero community _internship_ instead of a calling. When did you stop caring about the boys you were trying to raise to be anything except you? God, I punched you because my own Batman is bad enough but you all might consider that I slept with someone who thought nuking cities was a good plan and I think you are all mightily fucked up.”

 

“Nukes?” Dick asked, the first to say anything.

 

Roy stared at him in blank horror for a second because Chemo was seared onto his memories. “You,” he said, his voice shaking slightly. “Stay the fuck away from them.”

 

“What does that mean?” Jason asked.

 

“You expect me to believe all this, don't you?” Batman asked.

 

“Would you like me to start comparing your secret lives or something?” Roy asked.

 

“Not particularly,” Batman allowed after a second.

 

“You don't just believe him, do you?” the littlest Robin demanded.

 

“Not that this hasn't been incredibly enlightening,” Jason broke in. “But when exactly are we going to go back to working on getting my Roy back? Anyone else you really need to punch in the face or yell at or something?”

 

Roy started to snap something and thought better of it. “Honestly, I'm pretty sure confronting whatever the fuck Ollie is here would be a bad idea. For both of us.”

 

“He could use some sense knocked into him,” Jason said.

 

“You think that about everyone,” Batman rejoined.

 

“Because it's usually true,” Jason bristled.

 

“Besides, keeping him around could prove—” Batman started.

 

“If you're suggesting keeping me around to study me, I will punch you in the face again,” Roy warned as something flashed on their rooftop. Before anyone could move, Booster Gold appeared out of what looked like thin air and turned into a glowing bubble.

 

“What the hell did you do?” he roared at Roy, who had honestly never heard Booster Gold roar anything at anyone before.

 

-0-

 

Dick turned the toaster over in his hands as it chattered at him.

 

“I am alarmed,” he allowed finally.

 

“Your Roy doesn't do that, huh?” Roy asked.

 

“No,” Dick said and set the toaster down, allowing it to roam up and down the counter. “He's not so much for tech that doesn't involve shooting.”

 

“To be fair, I mostly invent weapons,” Roy shrugged and there was a knock on the door.

 

Dick considered him for a long moment before giving a minute shrug and going to answer it. “Connor,” he said in some surprise.

 

“After everything I've heard today, I thought I would bring Lian home,” another voice said and Roy found himself drifting to the door to see who it was. “I'm not sure if you think it's a good idea, but she should be here, at her home, tonight. Today has been stressful on us all.”

 

The blond man at the door met Roy's eyes over Dick's shoulders. Those eyes widened slightly before a more neutral expression came back on his face. “Roy,” he greeted.

 

Roy squinted at him, trying to figure out if the dark skinned and light haired man fit anyone he knew. “I don't think I know you at _all_.”

 

There was wry twist of his mouth. “Perhaps that is a good thing,” he allowed. “Considering how father reacted to me in this universe. He sounds far worse in yours.” He held his hand out, Lian attached to his leg and silently watching Roy. “I'm Connor Hawke.”

 

“Roy Harper,” Roy said faintly, accepting the hand. “Who's your dad?”

 

“Ollie,” Connor said, and there was a wry twist to his mouth.

 

“You're shitting me,” Roy said, and quickly looked him up and down again. “I mean, I guess the kid part but—” He broke off, trying not to stare at Lian.

 

Connor shrugged. “We had our issues too,” he said. “Like him refusing to believe me when I said I was his son and him promptly getting blown up. We moved past it.”

 

Roy blinked at him. “What?”

 

“Never mind,” Connor said. “I wanted to bring Lian home tonight and Ollie was certainly in no place to do so, nor do I think you would have liked that. And I did want to meet you.”

 

“Why?” Roy asked.

 

“Because at least this Roy and I have become something like brothers,” Connor said, level, but like he suspected how that might affect Roy.

 

“Oh,” Roy said and retreated again, poking at what had used to be the toaster.

 

He heard Dick and Connor exchange a few more words at the door while he sat down in the middle of the living room, putting his head in his hands and trying to just keep breathing. At this point he figured he should be getting used to everything feeling like a punch and yet somehow he wasn't.

 

“Hello?” a little voice asked and he looked up to see Lian staring at him.

 

“Hey,” he managed and facing down crazy aliens and hopping into bed with Red Hood felt easier than meeting that small girl's eyes.

 

“You're sad, aren't you?” she asked.

 

“Yeah,” Roy said and before he could stop it she crawled into his lap, curling up there and he was too shocked to do anything.

 

“You're not my daddy,” she said. “But you're like him. And anyway, you shouldn't have to be sad. Enough people already are.”

 

“Yeah?” he asked, his arms held out because he was too scared to touch her.

 

“They think I don't notice,” she said, and her voice was a conspiratorial whisper. “But I do.” One of her little hands reached out, patting his cheek. “You're going to be okay though.”

 

“How can you tell?” Roy asked.

 

“Because you're like my daddy,” she said, smiling at him and Roy couldn't handle it. Burying his face in her soft hair, he sobbed, wrapping his arms around her like she would break at any second.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Apparently Roy ranting in huge paragraphs at people (Especially Batman) is actually canon!!
> 
> This is an in canon rant he gives Batman at one point: "I don’t know what the hell made you superhero guys think you were capable of raising kids, but let me tell you something. Praise doesn’t kill anyone. There’s even this thing called self-esteem that’s considered useful in certain situations. Y’know, I’ve spent my whole life coming I second place to Dick. ..But hey, I’m man enough to admit that he can do things I can’t. Plus, I’ve known all along the price he paid was having to deal with you. Hard to imagine the two of you going camping just for the hell of it. Or spending all day playing old B.B. King albums and making chili. Bet you didn’t even miss it! None of it counts anyway, right? We’re not family to you guys! We’re just soldiers, low ranking soldiers. We’re just supposed to go on no matter what. That’s the way it is, isn’t it? Isn’t it?"


	6. Chapter 6

When Roy stopped crying, Lian squirmed in his arms. “Do you feel better?” she asked, patting his cheek.

 

“Not sure better is the way to put it,” Roy said. “But yeah.” He sniffed again, and loosened his hold on her. “Thanks.”

 

When he looked up, Connor and Dick were standing by the doorway. He hadn't realized they had been in the kitchen, leaving him alone for as long as he needed. “Oh,” he said and Lian bounded off his lap, bouncing over to Dick, who caught her in his arms easily, hoisting her up to rest on his hip.

 

“You're getting too heavy for this, princess,” he said, and she giggled.

 

“You lift heavier things all the time,” she said and Dick walked back with her into the kitchen, talking quietly all the time.

 

Connor came over, sitting cross legged in front of Roy.

 

“So, brothers, huh?” Roy asked when Connor had been considering him too long. “I can't even fucking imagine.”

 

“Well,” Connor was smiling slightly. “It wasn't always the easiest path. Ollie didn't accept me until after he died and came back.”

 

Roy almost wanted to make a comment about wondering if it would be the same with him and Oliver. But honestly, despite everything, he didn't want him to die. He just never wanted to be anywhere near the man again, and if he happened to lose everything that would be great.

 

“And you and I were, are, quite different,” Connor said. “Rather, I and the Roy Harper I know.”

 

“Yeah?” Roy asked, not quite sure what to make of this man. He seemed so serene compared to anyone else Roy met, but also there was something about the way he moved that screamed danger.

 

The corners of Connor's mouth quirked up. “Well, I was raised in Buddhist monastery. Roy decided that one night he was going to take me out somewhere fun. Which included a strip joint and a greasy dinner that mostly served meat.”

 

Roy tried to suppress what he was sure would be a slightly hysterical laugh. “Isn't that a totally asshole move?”

 

“Oh yes,” Connor said. “Complete asshole move. We've certainly fought before. Had our issues, our disagreements. But I really do consider him like a brother and Mia has become my little sister. Even though I'm the only one related to Ollie through blood, we're a family.” He paused. “I'm sorry your own experience has not been like that.”

 

Roy shrugged, uncomfortable. “I've never met anyone who could be you. Haven't heard the name Mia, either.”

 

“Well, if you do meet us out there,” Connor said. “Maybe you could think fondly of us.”

 

“Sure,” Roy said, still totally unsure what to make of him. “Yeah, I'll keep an eye out.”

 

Connor reached a hand out and Roy almost flinched. “I hope you find a way to be at peace,” Connor said, and he was so serious and earnest Roy almost ran away.

 

He thought about Jason and the way he sprawled out, languid and warm and Roy curled up against his side, laughing and just generally basking in being there. “I think I might have a lead on that,” he admitted and Connor smiled again.

 

“Good.”

 

-0-

 

“Booster, I can singularly say you were not who I was expecting,” Roy admitted.

 

Booster stared at him and everyone else on the roof stared back at him. “ _That's_ why everything is going nuts. You are the Roy Harper from where come from. The fuck are you doing here?”

 

“Excellent question,” Roy said. “Wait, you travel through _dimensions_ as a _regular_ thing?”

 

Booster shrugged, and looked distinctly uncomfortable. “And time?”

 

“That's actually way less surprising,” Roy drawled.

 

Booster blinked and then shrugged. His grin was still bright and too big and Roy made a mental note to pay way more attention to this man. “Point. I suppose once you time travel once it becomes way less weird to keep doing it.”

 

“The dimension hopping thing though,” Roy said. “That I would have figured was out of your league.”

 

Booster didn't stop smiling but something had gone wrong with his expression. “Someone has to make sure this whole system doesn't crash and burn.”

 

“Fair,” Roy admitted and he finally glanced around the roof again. Batman was looking at Booster with his single minded intensity, like he was a puzzle Batman had no key for.

 

“So how exactly did you end up here?” Booster asked.

 

“No idea,” Roy said. “Woke up here. We think I switched with the Roy from this universe though.”

 

“Any plans on getting back yet?”

 

“I was still working on that to be honest,” Roy said. “They haven't seemed to have too much experience with the whole universe hopping business. You couldn't just give me a ride home could you?”

 

“Give me a second,” Booster said and disappeared back into his bubble. A little floating robot came out, looking around the roof.

 

“Another fine mess,” the droid sighed.

 

Booster came back out a moment later. “Looks like getting you out of here and home shouldn't be too much of a problem. I'll have to get the other Roy and bring him back too, but that should settle the whole mess of this switch.”

 

“Any idea _how_ it happened?” Roy asked, stepping forward.

 

“Not yet—” Booster said.

 

“Wait,” Jason yelled behind them and Roy stopped, turning back around. “There is no way in hell I'm going to let you just walk out of here without any assurances of getting my own Roy back.”

 

“Well,” Booster blinked. “I mean, sure, I'll have to stop back this way with the other Roy, there's probably room, but,” he frowned, as if considering exactly the ramifications.

 

“Feel free not to come back,” the littlest Robin muttered and Dick glared down at him.

 

“So just like that,” Batman asked, and Roy wanted to punch him again. “You came roaring here, throwing around your judgments of us and you'll just leave?”

 

“Sure,” Roy said. “I'm not here to fix your damn world. I've just wanted to get home since I got here. Seeing other worlds like this, well, it ain't fun. Though, punching you in the face sure was.”

 

Booster made a choking sound. “You punched Batman?” He paused. “Did he happen to go down in one punch?”

 

“Down but it didn't knock him out,” Roy said, eyeing Booster sideways.

 

“Damn,” Booster said under his breath.

 

“You don't even know me,” Batman said, focus still on Roy.

 

“Sure, but I know you well enough to figure out the effects you have on fucking up everyone around you,” Roy said. “Comes from being best friends with Robin since we were in middle school and floundering through the whole side kick thing together. He's always been stupidly, intensely loyal to you when Wally and I were making plans to kidnap him just to make sure he knew what _fun_ was. I've wanted to punch you in the damn face since the first time Robin quit the Titans because of you.”

 

Something weird happened to Batman's face. “Middle school?”

 

“Yeah,” Roy said and Batman was looking at Nightwing, who for his part was doing anything to avoid his gaze. “He was nine. When you adopted him. And raised him. And like, I don't want to even _talk_ about your fucking issues, or the fact you two sometimes argue in the middle of the fucking battlefield, or how many times Dick has nearly killed himself for your approval. Like moving to Blüdhaven for Christs' sake to begin with. But you two love each other in ways I'm never going to figure out. So yeah, I've wanted to punch any Batman in the face for a long time. The fact you're actuallyworse here is pretty amazing. I can't even imagine what growing up here would be like. Apparently, pretty damn bad.”

 

Batman was still staring at Dick, who had tensed himself and was still looking away. The littlest, angriest Robin was also looking up at Dick. Hesitantly, he reached a hand out, curling his fingers around Dick's hand and Dick's shoulders shook.

 

“And now you're just leaving,” Batman said.

 

“Yeah,” Roy said. “Never one to pass up a ride home.”

 

“I'm still going with you,” Jason said, and he'd moved closer to Booster and the bubble, like he was expecting them to leave without him.

 

“I want to go too,” Dick said suddenly.

 

“No,” Batman returned instantly and Roy closed his eyes at the way Jason's face twisted. No one had to say out loud he hadn't protested Jason leaving.

 

“It's not your choice,” Dick said, finally meeting Batman's gaze again.

 

“Why the hell do you want to come?” Jason demanded and Roy folded his arms over his chest. For a long moment, Dick looked at him before turning his head toward Jason.

 

“I want to see,” he said quietly. “Besides, apparently I'm supposed to be the one who cares. Maybe it's time to start doing that.”

 

“You can start with someone who isn't my Roy,” Jason said but a lot of the fight had seemed to go out of him.

 

Dick frowned, and he took a hesitant step toward Jason. “I don't—I don't want to take anyone from you,” he said. “I just. I tried to help once and I failed. Really, really badly,” and Roy didn't think he imagined the way Dick looked after where Killer Croc had disappeared. “I just want to try and maybe have the chance to make that right.”

 

There was another current moving between them but Jason just grunted and shrugged. “Whatever,” he said finally. “It's not my ride.”

 

The littlest Robin was there next to Dick. “You care about me,” he said, something fragile in his voice as he tugged on Dick's hand and Dick smiled down at him. For a second he looked just like Roy remembered his Dick and he had to turn around and walk toward the bubble.

 

“Yes,” he heard Dick said. “I care about you completely. But there are others too.”

 

“Tt,” the boy said. “Alright. As long as you're certain you can handle the load without any adverse affects on anyone else.”

 

“Promise,” Dick said seriously.

 

Batman had subsided into annoyed silence and Roy let Jason enter the ship first, Booster Gold muttering something under his breath that Roy didn't feel like trying to catch.

 

“Well,” Roy said, stopping and turning around to look over this alternate Gotham. “It's been fun.” He shook his head, not even sad he wasn't going to meet this Oliver Queen. It was probably better for both of their continued existence if that never happened.

 

-0-

 

Connor left and Dick had put Lian to bed. “Where do you want to sleep?” he asked, and Roy was still sitting in the middle of the living room floor.

 

“I can take the floor, or the couch, or whatever,” Roy said, not looking up at him. “I've slept in worse places.”

 

Dick sighed. “We all have,” he agreed. “Doesn't mean you have to. I can take the couch.”

 

“Nah, you have more right to that bed than I do, I think,” Roy said. He twisted his hands together in his lap. “Hey, Dick?” When Dick hummed he continued, still staring at the floor. “Where's Jason?”

 

When there was silence he looked up, and Dick was staring out the window, his face twisted in unhappiness. “I have no idea,” he said finally. There was something fragile in the way he held himself, something bitter and something hurting.

 

“Holy shit,” Roy said, blinking and Dick looked back at him. “You're in love with him too.”

 

“What?” Dick asked, eyes widening in shock and he looked poised to bolt or hit something. “The last time I saw him he pointed a gun to my head just to tell me information. Before that he took my costume and pretended to be me while killing people. I don't even want to talk about how that went. Before that he took over Gotham's underworld and tried to kill Bruce.”

 

“Yeah, no, I don't mean you want to fuck him,” Roy hastily said. “I mean, unless you want to. But, I mean, you care about me here, right? And you care about him too. You don't give a fuck about either of us where I come from.”

 

Dick took a deep breath and let it out. “I doubt that,” he said, softly. “I just must be even more shit at showing it.”

 

“You're busy, I think,” Roy said, looking down.

 

“That's not excuse,” Dick snapped, sounding angry at his alternate self.

 

“It's just,” Roy shifted. “I've barely heard about Jason here.”

 

Dick looked away again. “He's angry,” he said softly. “He's... I don't know if he's just that angry, or if the pit drove him a little crazy. He's very different.” He closed his eyes. “I miss him. I know I didn't do enough when he was alive, and I've barely—when Bruce found out he was alive, he'd already sent me out of Gotham. And then I went undercover with Deathstroke and didn't come out until my whole city was laid to waste around me.”

 

Roy's eyes widened. “What?” he asked and Dick shook his head slightly, like he'd already said more than he wanted to about that.

 

“I keep thinking maybe I won't fuck up with Jason, but so far it hasn't happened,” Dick shrugged. “He doesn't want us to help him, anyway.”

 

Roy tried to place anything Dick was saying with what he knew of Dick and Jason's relationship. “He was Robin for a while, wasn't he?”

 

Dick nodded. “Yeah, a few years. I wasn't there for a lot of it. I was still so angry with Bruce, so certain I should be walking my own path. I made some gestures, but they weren't enough. I wasn't even on the planet during his funeral, Bruce didn't tell,” he stopped abruptly, looking away. “I didn't know.” He shook his head slightly. “I'm sorry, because I just don't think Roy and Jason know each other that well here. But you care about him, right?”

 

“Yeah,” Roy rasped.

 

Dick gave him a faint flicker of a smile. “I'm glad,” he said. “Maybe having someone care about him, and refuse to leave, will help.”

 

“He's stuck with me,” Roy said emphatically when there was a crashing sound up on the roof. Dick's head whipped up and he was out the window, going up the fire escape in one smooth motion. It made Roy's mouth go a little dry as he fumbled to follow him.

 

They were on the top floor, so the strange bubble was just opening it's door when Roy caught up with Dick, who had paused, head cocked to one side quizzically before a large, red haired man came barreling out of the multicolored bubble.

 

“Dick!” he cried and Dick startled before throwing himself forward. The man caught Dick around the waist and yanked him up, Dick wrapping his legs around him and that was the first real look Roy got at his alternate counterpart.

 


	7. Chapter 7

“Hey, babe,” Roy said, holding onto Dick and Dick just laughed, clinging to him a bit tighter. “Did you miss me?”

 

“Shut up,” Dick muttered but his fingers were still tight in his short hair so Roy took that as a yes.

 

“Say, Rob,” Roy said, and normally he would never have dared to ask this. “Can I tell you I love you yet?”

 

Dick blinked and Roy could feel him tense all over. “We'll talk about it,” he admitted finally and Roy set him down carefully. “I'm just glad you're home,” Dick added, not having entirely let go of him yet.

 

“Yeah, so am I,” Roy said and Dick looked over his shoulder, his brows going up to see Booster Gold sitting on the steps to his multicolored bubble before his eyes skidded over to his alternate self and Jason and he froze.

 

Jason for his part, had started forward toward his Roy and hesitated, shifting like he wasn't sure he wanted to run forward or follow decorum. Arsenal—because while Roy had gone by that name himself he wasn't at the moment and if he had to call his alternate self “the other Roy” in his head he was going to lose his mind—was alternating between staring at Jason and then back at Roy.

 

Roy finally forced himself to let go of Dick to face Arsenal. “Good to meet you,” he said, holding out a hand and the other man, who was shorter than he was and slighter too and that was just weird as all get out, shifted awkwardly. “I'm Roy Harper.”

 

There was almost a smile on Arsenal's face. “Hi, Roy, I'm Roy Harper too.”

 

Roy grinned at him as they shook hands before he slung an arm over Arsenal's shoulder and took him off a little ways. “So, heard a lot about you.”

 

“Same,” Arsenal said quietly and for a second looked like he was going to cry. “Nice life you built here.”

 

“Yeah,” Roy agreed because he wasn't ashamed of what he had, or how hard he'd fought tooth and nail for every bit of you. “You know, I was never in the A. A.” The other man winced and Roy went on. “But I can't say heroin withdrawals are really any better. Addictive personality, blah blah, one major fuck up was enough, you know?”

 

Arsenal blinked at him and then nodded. “Yeah?”

 

“Not to mention the whole working for the government business that really didn't turn out for me as well as I hoped, the sleeping with a nuke happy assassin—and she insists I won't let that one go but really once you nuke a place you know it sorta becomes attached to your name—and the Outsiders, man, that was a bad idea, don't do that, and every other fuck up I've made in my life.” He turned to face Arsenal who was squinting at him. “Basically, what I'm saying is I've fucked up. A lot. Numerous times and sometimes I was pretty sure I was never ever walking back from them. And yet,” he held up a hand. “I have a daughter who is everything to me. I'm on the goddamn Justice League. I'm working out a relationship with the guy I've been in love with since I was fourteen and sure it's slow and some days it sucks a lot because fuck, we have issues, but I love him and we're working on it.”

 

Arsenal stared at him. “He was a lot more forgiving about that idea,” he said and Roy tried not to show what that meant to him.

 

“Was he? Cool. Point is, if I can make this work, you can make it work. Shit's not over until it's over. Our worlds aren't the same but don't you dare think your make up or fate or whatever is wrong. You just gotta push through it and fight for your own damn happiness.”

 

Arsenal swallowed and Roy thought for a horrible moment he was going to cry on him.

 

“Now go like, kiss your boyfriend or something, he's been frantic and bitchy the whole time,” and Roy turned back around Arsenal decided to take his advice and finally approached Jason.

 

It looked like the other Nightwing and Jason had both been staring at Dick, who'd decided to ignore them both in favor of talking to Booster Gold. But as soon as Arsenal started moving, Jason's complete attention was on him and he gave him a shaky grin. “Hey, Jaybird.”

 

“Roy,” Jason said and Arsenal was clinging to him. Jason wrapped his arms around him and squeezed and for a second Roy could almost get it.

 

He certainly recognized the desperation in Jason and the relief in Arsenal.

 

“Have a good vacation?” Jason asked and Arsenal gave a watery laugh—oh shit he really was crying.

 

Roy couldn't remember ever really being able to cry so he blinked in confusion, glancing at Dick who had his head tilted to one side.

 

“Yeah,” Arsenal said, sniffing. “It was nice. People were really nice to me.”

 

Jason looked up and narrowed his eyes at Dick, like he had to be offended by any version of Nightwing. His arms crossed over his chest, Dick just arched his brows. “Yeah?” Jason asked.

 

“'Specially Dick,” Arsenal said and even though he must have been expecting that answer, Jason seemed more annoyed. “He took my shopping and fed me and wouldn't let me drink.”

 

“You wanted to?” Jason asked in some alarm.

 

“Ollie showed up twice,” Arsenal mumbled and Roy gave an alarmed look at Dick, who sighed and looked heavenward.

 

“I asked for Batman,” he told the sky above them. “Got GA too and then he came back when I told him not to.”

 

“He doesn't really fucking listen to anyone, does he?” Roy asked, and now he could be amused by that. Dick huffed out an annoyed breath. “Oh wait, you called Batman first?”

 

Dick gave him a long look. “Of course I did. He said he'd figure something out, though I guess I'll have to let him know it's handled,” and he glanced at Booster who looked interested in the masonry of the roof.

 

“That is not who I want to see first thing upon waking up is all,” Roy said.

 

“That's also because I was in your bed this morning,” Dick said and suddenly wasn't quite looking at anyone.

 

“Oh shit,” Roy said.

 

“You punched Batman in the face and now you're worried?” Jason asked.

 

“What?” Dick practically roared.

 

“What?” Roy asked innocently. “I've been a superhero longer than that Batman was. It was cathartic. And he's even more of an asshole than yours.”

 

Dick opened and closed his mouth a few times and Roy realized the only person who hadn't spoken yet was Nightwing, standing away from the group and with his arms holding himself. Before Roy could say anything there was a scuffle at the fire escape and Lian poked her head over the edge.

 

Her hair was rumpled from sleep, and she looked caught between worry and annoyance at being woken up. But the instant she spotted her daddy her whole expression changed and she was charging across the roof. “Daddy!” Roy caught her halfway, swinging her up into his arms.

 

“Hey, princess,” he said, cuddling her against his chest. As happy as he was to be home, and to see Dick, he never really felt like he was home until he had his daughter in his arms. “I was hoping you'd slept through the noise.”

 

“I hadn't,” she said. “Couldn't find anyone until uncle Dick yelled.”

 

Dick winced and Roy tried not to smile. “Well, I'm glad to see you,” Roy said, tweaking her nose and Arsenal still looked pained, even though Roy assumed he must have met Lian before.

 

But Jason looked totally shocked, one arm still around Arsenal and his eyes darting between him and the girl in Roy's arms. “I know you said you had a daughter,” he settled for finally. “But damn.”

 

“Language,” Roy said automatically, even though he still tripped up around Lian and Dick was only marginally better.

 

Jason made a face at him. “Sorry, dad,” he said and Roy nuzzled against Lian, making her laugh as he absorbed her smell.

 

But despite the interruption, attention was slowly focusing on Nightwing again, as Arsenal frowned at him like he couldn't figure out why he was there and Dick finally forced himself to acknowledge his other self was there. He apparently had dealt with Roy's counterpart with equanimity, but seemed unable to do the same with his own.

 

“It seems we're quite different,” Dick settled for finally and Nightwing startled somewhat. “To be fair, that seems to be not uncommon between these universes.”

 

“Killer Croc doesn't eat people there,” Roy added helpfully and Dick turned to stare at him before shaking himself all over and turning back to his counterpoint.

 

“Case in point,” Dick said. “But you are me, or at least have the same foundations of me. I'm just not sure I can offer you anything.”

 

“I didn't come for your help,” Nightwing said. “I came because it seemed like the right thing to do.”

 

Dick hesitated, glancing back at Roy as if asking for help before turning back to Nightwing. “Good,” he managed, so good at giving advice to others and never at understanding himself. Seeing it play out between people was almost enough to make Roy start laughing or crying.

 

“It's really weird to look at another version of myself,” Nightwing said after a beat.

 

Dick laughed, shaking his head. “You get used to it? Sorta? At least we're in the same profession. The time I was a gangster was not fun.”

 

“Hot though,” Roy remarked.

 

“Shut up,” Dick said. “Zucco adopted me and there was _nothing_ okay about that.”

 

Roy considered. “Okay, point.”

 

Nightwing's face had twisted into confusion. “Zucco,” he said hesitantly. “Isn't that—”

 

“If you say not that bad,” Dick cut him off. “I do not want to know.”

 

“It's complicated,” Nightwing settled for finally and Dick made a disbelieving sound.

 

“If you say so.”

 

They stared at each other another moment and Dick shook his head slightly, focusing on Jason. “Sorry,” he said and actually sounded sad. Which was something Roy needed to pay a lot more attention to. “No one really knows where Red Hood is at the moment. He might not even be in this dimension.”

 

Jason blinked and frowned. “And you give a fuck?”

 

Dick looked down and hell, there was a whole layer of guilt here Roy hadn't been paying attention to. “Yeah,” he said. “We haven't really ended any of our conversations at a good place lately. Something about him stealing my identity and pointing a gun at me. Not that it's all him,” he added after a beat. “Sometimes it's me. The point is we may be fighting, but I want to know if he's okay or not.” He paused. “He's my brother, after all. As much as Tim is.”

 

Jason and Nightwing were both staring.

 

“I think the whole Batman legacy is a bit different here,” Jason said finally, swallowing hard and Nightwing looked like he wanted to shrink within himself.

 

Dick swallowed and nodded. “Roy,” he said, turning to Arsenal and inclining his head. “It was good to meet you.”

 

“Yeah,” Arsenal said, choked up again. “Thanks, you know, for everything. Especially the action figure.”

 

Dick blinked and then smiled. “You're welcome,” he said, and with a glance at Roy stepped back.

 

Roy shrugged, still holding Lian against his chest. “Well, I think I've lectured everyone enough.”

 

“Yeah, we should get back,” Jason said and Arsenal was pressed up against his side, like there was no where else he wanted to be.

 

Booster finally pulled himself back up, gesturing. “My bubble is your bubble, gentlemen.”

 

Roy watched them leave, the bubble fading out and looked back at Lian. “We should get you back to bed, bumble bee.”

 

She was already half asleep against his shoulder and nodded. “I liked him,” she said as Roy lead the way down the fire escape. It felt reassuring to have Dick behind him. “He wasn't you but I liked him. He made the toaster better and I named it Harriet. Dick said I could.”

 

“What?” Roy mouthed over his shoulder and Dick shrugged as they entered the apartment.

 

Once Roy had put Lian back into bed and tucked her in, he walked into the kitchen where Dick was drinking a glass of water. Coming up behind him, he wrapped his arms around Dick's waist and buried his face in his shoulder. Dick tensed and slowly put the glass down before bringing his hands up to cover Roy's at his waist. “Hey,” he whispered.

 

“Fuck,” Roy breathed. “Fuck it all, that was awful.”

 

“Sh,” Dick soothed, his fingers stroking the back of Roy's hands. “You're okay now. You're home.”

 

“Did you handle it okay?” Roy had to ask.

 

“Relatively,” Dick said. “I knew we'd find a way to get you back. Another day though and I might have been less... calm about that. But I had my hands full.” He paused. “That Roy was a wreck.”

 

“Think they all were,” Roy muttered. “As usual you hide it better.”

 

Dick laughed but didn't sound amused at all. “Sure, like that's a good thing.”

 

Roy nuzzled up against his neck and Dick sucked in a breath, his eyes fluttering closed and Roy held him tighter. “He didn't believe that I would have stayed around,” Dick said, eyes still closed. “Like no one had stayed for him before.”

 

“Yeah,” Roy agreed.

 

“You know,” Dick said and his voice was thick. “That I... I would never... I mean, I know I've left, I know we've had our fights and our fall outs but I would never just—”

 

“Dick,” Roy said quietly. “I know. We both have fucked up on this.”

 

“But I'm the one who pushed you away,” Dick said, looking down.

 

“You were mourning,” Roy said.

 

“I was being an asshole,” Dick snapped. “I wasn't good for anyone, not for you or Lian. I thought if I could push you away I would stop caring and it would make it easier to just not care.”

 

“But you're past that, right?” Roy asked, voice wavering. Since Dick had come back, eyes shadowed and said Batman had kicked him off the Outsiders, Roy hadn't dared to ask. He'd accepted whatever Dick was willing to hand him, which was hesitation and shy kisses and one hike out to a waterfall. It included a few nights when Dick stayed.

 

He wasn't sure what he would do if Dick started pulling away again.

 

Dick sucked in air, and Roy tried not to crush him to his chest and refuse to let go.

 

“I'm trying to be,” he said and Roy let out a breath, urging it to take his fear with him.

 

“Dick,” he said. “You know I fucking love you right?”

 

Dick tensed, but then he slowly sagged against Roy's chest. “Yeah,” he said like it hurt him.

 

“I'm gonna tell you that,” Roy promised. “Until it's normal again.”

 

There was a pause long enough to scare him. “Okay,” Dick said quietly and it was a bigger win than Roy had expected. He turned Dick around in the space of his arms and slammed their mouths together. This always felt right, to have Dick warm and strong in his arms.

 

Roy looked up when he thought he heard something and squinted at the refrigerator he had pushed Dick up against almost unconsciously. “Hey Dick?”

 

“Hm?” Dick hummed, frowning.

 

“What the hell happened to my fridge?”

 

Dick frowned at him before tilting his head back and his eyes widening. “I have no idea when he did that.”

 

-0-

 

Once Booster left them on the roof, Jason found himself staring at Dick who was looking away.

 

“Hey, Nightwing,” he started to say because he'd never thought of Dick as vulnerable before. But now he was starting to suspect that had just been him being an asshole toward the other man.

 

Not that he didn't deserve it half the time, mind. Or more than half. Most of it even.

 

Dick turned his head slightly and focused on Roy instead of Jason. “I'm sorry,” he said and Roy jerked, startled. “I was never there for you. I'm sorry I didn't understand anything that was going on when I should have listened.” His eyes drifted over to Jason, like he wanted to say something to him too but wasn't quite ready too.

 

The space between them felt like it was stretching out and Jason wondered what would happen when it broke.

 

Instead Dick turned and jumped off the roof, heading off into the night of Gotham.

 

“Come on,” Jason said, because the plane was at least right there where they'd left it. Booster Gold was apparently quite a considerate person.

 

Jason would never have guessed it.

 

“You know,” Roy said, not quite moving yet. “The other... the other Nightwing. He was more than I ever expected. He let me cry on him, he gave me clothes and allowed me to see that other life I had. I can never... but I still did not expect to ever hear those damn words out of our Nightwing's mouth.”

 

“He had a bad day,” Jason settled for finally.

 

As far as he could tell Dick's entire world had been shaken up, possibly worse than the rest of them minus Roy. After all, he had been told he was alone when he shouldn't be, and that in another world he was desperately loved.

 

Jason tried not to think about what that would feel like.

 

When he thought of Dick, he always thought of him being easy around people, smiling and warm. He'd just never realized before that none of those people were close to Dick.

 

“Come on,” Jason said again, drawing Roy to him. “We should get back. Kory might be worried about us.” If she was actually there and not on some galactic scale mess and hadn't even noticed they were missing yet.

 

“Yeah,” Roy said, and looked up at Jason. There wasn't a lot of height difference between them, but Roy always seemed smaller because of the way he hunched himself over slightly.

 

Jason felt suddenly overwhelmed, because his anger had carried him through the day, had distracted him from the gnawing fear and pain at Roy's absence. “I missed you so much,” he said, throwing his arms around Roy's shoulders and clinging to him.

 

Roy startled, like he was still surprised and wrapped his arms back around Jason. “I missed you too,” he said. A few days ago was the first time Jason had kissed him, half drunk and fumbling and too tired to keep his distance any more. Now he wondered how he could have kept his distance from Roy for so long as Roy pressed an almost sweet kiss against his mouth.

 

“We should get back to that private island of ours,” Jason said.

 

“Yeah,” Roy agreed and grinned. “God, let's.”

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Considering I wrote this story on a complete lark it became way more emotional than I was truly expecting or prepared for and I still can't believe the response it got?
> 
> I have half considered writing sequels as Dick and Roy are going to be haunted by this for a long time. The new52 sequel meanwhile would start out somewhere along the lines of Roy going we should get a kid and Jason going say how do you really feel about Dick Grayson and possibly threesomes? And then they stare at each other for a long time. And it turns into pure insanity from there. 
> 
> It could happen.


End file.
